Starting therapy can be a big step for both kids and parents. This guide is here to help you talk to your kid about therapy in a way that feels supportive, casual, and reassuring. We'll address common myths, provide ideas for introducing therapy, share research-backed benefits, and outline what to expect from the therapy process.
Benefits of Therapy for Kids & Teens
Therapy offers numerous benefits for kids, providing a safe and supportive environment to explore emotions, develop coping skills, and navigate challenges. Research highlights that therapy can improve emotional regulation, reduce anxiety, and enhance self-esteem in children (Weisz et al., 2017). It also fosters better communication skills and problem-solving abilities, equipping kids to handle peer relationships, school stress, or family changes more effectively. Evidence-based approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and play therapy are particularly effective, allowing children to process their experiences in ways that are developmentally appropriate (Smith & Landreth, 2018). Early therapeutic intervention can promote resilience and emotional well-being, setting the foundation for healthier development.
The Role of Parents in Therapy
Parents play a crucial role in their child’s therapy by providing support, fostering open communication, and reinforcing therapeutic progress at home. In many cases, therapists involve parents to help them understand their child’s needs, learn strategies to manage behaviors, and create a supportive environment for emotional growth. Research shows that parental involvement enhances the effectiveness of therapy, particularly in addressing concerns like anxiety, behavioral issues, and family dynamics (Comer et al., 2015). By staying engaged, parents not only model healthy coping mechanisms but also build stronger connections with their child, contributing to long-term success and well-being.
Ways Parents Can Help with Their Child’s Therapy:
Be Involved: Attend sessions when invited, participate in family therapy, or learn strategies to support your child at home.
Encourage Open Communication: Create a safe space for your child to share their feelings and experiences without judgment.
Follow Through on Recommendations: Implement strategies or exercises suggested by the therapist to reinforce progress.
Model Healthy Behaviors: Demonstrate positive coping skills, emotional regulation, and problem-solving or participate. in your own therapy.
Stay Patient and Supportive: Celebrate small victories, show understanding, and avoid pressuring your child for immediate change.
Maintain Consistency: Ensure your child attends sessions regularly and follows through with the therapist’s plan.
How to Talk to Your Kid About Therapy
Introducing the idea of therapy to kids or teens requires a calm, supportive, and non-judgmental approach. Parents can frame therapy as a helpful and normal way to work through challenges, emphasizing that it’s a safe space for their child to express themselves and feel understood. It’s important to focus on the benefits rather than making it seem like something is "wrong" with them. Using relatable language and examples can make the conversation easier.
Script Examples:
For younger kids: "Sometimes we all need a little extra help to feel better. A therapist is like a feelings coach who helps you with tricky emotions or big thoughts."
For teens: "You know, therapy is just a space for you to talk about anything that’s on your mind. It’s not about fixing you—it’s about having someone to listen and help figure things out."
For both: "Lots of people see therapists, just like we go to the doctor for our bodies. It’s just a way to take care of your feelings and your mind.
Metaphors to Explain Therapy
Therapy is like a toolbox:" It's like having a special toolbox for your feelings. You and your therapist work together to find tools that help fix problems or make tough situations easier to handle."
Therapy is like leveling up in a game: "It’s like when you play a game and get stuck on a tough level. A therapist is like your guide or cheat code—they help you figure out strategies to beat the challenge so you can move forward and unlock new skills."
Therapy is like training with a coach: "Just like an athlete works with a coach to improve their game, therapy helps you strengthen your mental and emotional skills. It’s about practicing, learning new strategies, and getting better at handling whatever comes your way."
Therapy is like cleaning out a messy closet: "Sometimes, our feelings can get all jumbled up, like a messy closet. Therapy is like organizing that closet, figuring out what’s inside, and making it easier to find what you need."
Therapy is like learning to ride a bike: "When you’re learning to ride a bike, you might need training wheels or someone to help you balance. A therapist helps you figure out how to keep your balance with your emotions and thoughts."
Typical Length of Therapy
Therapy often takes time, starting with a commitment of 12 sessions allows for meaningful progress while assessing further needs. Short-term therapy, typically lasting 10-20 sessions, focuses on specific goals or challenges, such as managing anxiety, improving relationships, or developing coping skills. It is structured, solution-oriented, and often uses approaches like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to address immediate concerns effectively. In contrast, long-term therapy delves deeper into patterns, underlying issues, and personal growth over months or years. It often explores complex emotional struggles, unresolved trauma, or personality development, allowing for a more comprehensive transformation. Research indicates both approaches are effective, with short-term therapy offering quicker relief and long-term therapy supporting sustained, in-depth change. The choice depends on individual needs and goals.
Busting Common Fears About Therapy
Fear: “Only crazy people go to therapy.”
Reality: Therapy is for anyone who wants help, whether it’s managing stress or learning new skills.
Parent Script: "That's a common misconception! Therapy is like having a coach for your mind—it helps people work through challenges, build healthier habits, and grow emotionally. It’s really for anyone who wants to improve their life, not just for people in crisis."
Fear: “Therapy is only for people with big problems.”
Reality: Therapy can help with both big and small challenges.
Parent Script: "Therapy isn’t just for big problems. People go to therapy for all sorts of reasons—like managing school stress, figuring out how to deal with friend drama, or building confidence to speak up in class. It’s not just for big problems; it’s about getting support for anything that feels hard or uncomfortable to handle."
Fear: “Therapy means something is wrong with me.”
Reality: Therapy is a way to grow, learn, and handle challenges—not a sign of weakness or failure.
Parent Script: "Therapy isn’t about something being wrong with you. It’s just a way to get support and learn tools to feel better. Lots of people use it to handle everyday stuff."
Fear: “The therapist will tell my secrets to others.”
Reality: Therapy is private and confidential, unless there’s a safety concern.
Parent Script: "I get why you might worry about that, but therapists are there to help, not to spill your secrets. Everything you share is private, unless it's about something serious, like safety—then they’d only share to make sure you’re protected."
Fear: “If I go to therapy, my friends will think I’m weird.”
Reality: Therapy is common and shows strength in taking care of yourself.
Parent Script: "Actually, a lot of people go to therapy, even if they don’t talk about it. Taking care of yourself isn’t weird—it’s brave and smart and it's up to you who you want to share it with."
Fear: “The therapist will make me talk about things I don’t want to.”
Reality: Kids control what they share in therapy.
Parent Script: "Therapy is your space, you’re in charge of what you share in therapy. If there’s something you don’t want to talk about, that’s okay."
Fear: “Therapy is boring, and all we do is talk.”
Reality: Therapy can include games or activities, not just talking.
Parent Script: "Therapy isn’t just sitting and talking. Sometimes you might play games, draw, or do activities that make it easier to work on things. It’s a lot more interactive than you’d think!
Starting therapy is a meaningful step toward helping kids and teens navigate life's challenges and build essential skills for emotional well-being. By understanding the benefits, addressing common fears, and presenting therapy as a supportive tool, parents can make the process feel approachable and positive. Therapy is not a one-size-fits-all solution, but it offers a personalized space for growth, understanding, and healing. With your involvement and encouragement, your child can gain confidence in the therapy process, helping them feel empowered to face challenges and thrive. Remember, starting therapy is a sign of strength and a commitment to supporting your child's mental health and future success.
At Balanced Minds Psychology & Wellness we specialize in assisting individuals navigating life’s challenges. Contact us today to learn more about our services or to schedule a free consultation.
Citations:
Comer, J. S., Chow, C., Chan, P. T., Cooper-Vince, C., & Wilson, L. A. S. (2015). Psychotherapy for anxious youth: The roles of parents in treatment. Child Psychiatry & Human Development, 46(5), 649-659.
Lambert, M. J. (2013). The efficacy and effectiveness of psychotherapy. In M. J. Lambert (Ed.), Bergin and Garfield's Handbook of Psychotherapy and Behavior Change (6th ed., pp. 169-218). Wiley.
Smith, A. & Landreth, G. L. (2018). Child-centered play therapy: A practical guide to developing therapeutic relationships with children. Routledge.
Weisz, J. R., Kuppens, S., Eckshtain, D., Ugueto, A. M., Hawley, K. M., & Jensen-Doss, A. (2017). Performance of evidence-based youth psychotherapies compared with usual clinical care: A multilevel meta-analysis. JAMA Psychiatry, 74(7), 706-715.
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